Mazzy’s Rebel Alliance Crew, Recipe For Bogey Mischief Stew!

Welcome to Mazzy’s fantastical Rebel Alliance crew
A veritable recipe for unpalatable mischief stew
A night remembered, for when ordered tea at the bar in lieu
Bladder burst open laughing upon hearing the bartender’s curfew
For tea, especially, was strictly served before 5pm and no later was due
No concession allowed even as I recited tales of the bogey I blew!

 A most insufferable battle was under way in a remote sector of the Alpha Centauri System, one in which we found ourselves hanging on a thread for dear life after the proton torpedo unit of our ship had become massively clogged up with sludgy bombardments of lavender and lime jelly. Things had turned terribly messy, but I think it was when the highly venerated vending machine, famous for dispensing Haribos and packets of popcorn, started to spew out offensive jets of purple sludge that even the most optimistic of us were brought down and took on morbid thoughts. We were as sure as anything that this was to be the abysmal death of the last of the most decorated members of the Alliance!

In all the frenzied madness my voice fidgeted for attention but drowned in the noise, akin to a drip of water overshadowed by the boastful growl of a thunderclap, and no matter how loudly I spoke none of my team members could hear me. It was imperative that I calmed everyone down and I had do it soon otherwise, forget about the enemy striking us down, it would be the deeds of our own misdirection that would be the demise of us!

As if I was detached from the scene and no longer one of the crew, my exasperated eyes now only scanned the faces of my peers with a sort of exhausted apathy, and I quickly shot a glance out of the thick-pane of the window and saw to my bloated dismay the nuclear jelly reactor of the enemy vessel intensifying its concentration of reserves. My guess was that they had lost interest in this game of teaser-style thumping of viscous slimy particles at our ship and were now prepared to wipe us out completely. Cosmic creepers, jeepers sweepers!

My little head surveyed the deck at frantic speed and even at the last tethers of hope my gut was prodding me with handy advice. Alas, I in my sickening state could hear nothing, and I must say with the panic hitting the rooftop there was no chance of anyone hearing anyone else out, even if it were an orchestra of elephants trumpeting out notes on the fullest volume possible its cacophony would not stir the eardrums.

When my head goes fuzzy with umpteen strands of crisis scenarios brewing in them I tend to let out steam in the most diabolical way imaginable. I sneeze! And with it the nasal passages are cleared and swept of their pea-green conglomeration of mucus, or as we Brits like to call it, the bogey! It is of course an act of great service to that part of the body that always seems to receive much less credit than it really ought to deserve. An unflattering filtration and venting system, the nose and its vertical caverns is a marvel of evolutionary invention and the beau to every handkerchief that ever was embroidered!

We need to make mischief stew!” I muttered to myself and then clicked my fingers and suddenly the pandemonium on the deck did not appear as bad and dire as it was at first. A solution, in the most literal sense of the word, had risen up in my nose and herein was our only chance at defeating that nasty ship over yonder!

As my anxiety inflated so did the pre-sneeze motions, it was growing bigger and bigger and bigger, and like a speeding dart, I jumped into my seat in the middle and stood up and clanged and clashed my sneakers against the control panel that was blatantly malfunctioning as above it many sparks were flickering on and off like a miniature fireworks display.

LADIES!” No one paid the slightest bit of attention to me since they were too busy racking their sizzled brains and fiddling with their individual panels, still somewhat assured that the right press of a button would release enough of something to weaken the annoyingly tight defences of the enemy vessel. I was about to repeat my addressing the team, “LA – “, when the compressed pressure stored at the top of my nose gave way and I blew HARD!

ACHOOOOOO!!” A gale force of nasal winds burst out of my nostrils, sending the draping locks of all my beautiful crew members to rise and fly and undulate as one would expect in a glamorous shampoo advert! But, what really caught everyone’s attention was the fact that not only dry winds exuded from these nostrils of mine, for with these fantastic winds came a superior inundation of green snot, some as hard as dried concrete, and others as gooey as semolina soup! I had only sneezed once, however, the contents of my nose decisively chose to divide out and splatter itself on the faces of each member of my crew. No one was spared! I had not bet on this outcome and shrugging my shoulders, breathlessly, sent everyone a sincere and apologetic smirk.

Sorry…” Silence fell in the room like a slab of stone into a bathtub of water.

No one moved a muscle. Would I be irreparably condemned by my peers for breaching decorum in the most disgustful manner ever possible? I gulped hard and tried to swallow and I do believe, since every ear-nose-throat specialist will avow – that traces of the snot mixture slid down my gullet! It was not nice, and I know that I do not need to say it in order for You to believe it!

Elsie stood up, her eyes not tearing away from my gaze, and my heart sank to see that her pretty fairy wreath on her head was mercilessly doused in my nasal fluids. I pursed my lips and screwed my eyes and wished that somebody could teleport me off this ship.

She raised her hands and then brought them today. CLAP! Oh my lord, she was clapping and then a most angelic smile gleamed off her face!

Emily stood up, and she clapped whilst wiggling her hips!

Gemma leapt off her seat and when she did a fat blob of bogey dripped off from her chin and slobbered down to the floor as if it were a gush spewed out by a waterfall! She began clapping, too!

Agnes pushed her chair back, wiped a wall of crusty snot off her eyelashes and then proceeded to clap before passing a wink at me!  

 Chiara shook her hair and bubbles of green slime flew all over the control panels in front of her, and then she raised her hands above her head and clapped in slow and emphatic beats. It was not a rock concert but her style of applause would have fooled You into believing that she was at the front row gawping and salivating at the sight of her favourite band!

Charlie thrust her chest forward, hands on her hips and putting on a remarkable Wonder Woman stance, she nodded decisively before bursting into strawberry giggles followed by a round of high frequent claps!

Kayleigh’s red hair had turned green, uniformly coated in my internal bacterial juices, and she flicked a ringlet of her curls with pride and with a reasserted stare clapped triumphantly!

Tasha went berserk! Oh, and yes, she did clap!

MISCHIEF STEW!” We shouted out loud and made a beeline to the nuclear reactor of our ship, a downward tunnel of metal whose lower echelons glowed in incandescent shimmering reminiscent of the northern lights. Stood all of us around the ring of the reactor tunnel, I pulled out of my pocket a tiny bottle of Amma’s ground black pepper and sumptuously opened the lid. All eyes were on me. My face peeped out a knowing smile which set alight a similar smile in my crew members. Dismissing the need for a countdown and without warning, I shook the bottle and the grainy contents spurted into the air like dust mites and hovering there for a while they came down and we let it stream down into our nasal passages.

Immediately our noses itched! Then they seriously itched! Our eyes flickered and the attacking sneeze reflex began quickly to build up and our tummies trembled, the body not knowing when it would eject the punchy blow.

But it happened and it happened at the same time, an orchestra without the auspices of a conductor, timed in perfection only thanks to the regularity of basic biology!

ACHOOOOOOOOOOO!” The catastrophic burst of green matter and energy expulsed out of our delicate noses and then shot down the vast cavity of the reactor tunnel, splicing through the fancy lights without any regard as like an outlawed vendetta of bogey fibres whose aim was to steal down that tunnel and cause havoc at the other end. Finally the bogey collected itself at the triangulation sensor that was towed to the end of the ship. An automated gizmo, when the bogey cargo made contact with the sensor board it was immediately jettisoned in the direction of the enemy vessel. A neon green line trailed the vacuum of silent space and we watched from the window, tense and admittedly unsure even to this point as to whether our bogey balls would be potent enough to bring down the machinery of our foul nemesis.

It seemed like forever.

What if they were armed with a counteractive measure?!

We waited and waited, and saw the line of pea-green approach the target closer and closer, and yet not close enough. I needed the loo, the suspense was surely worse than death!

Come on, come on…!” I think everyone said these words in their own way in those few dreary eternal seconds.

A purple cloud began to accumulate in the centre of the enemy vessel. A retaliating procedure was put into initiation. Would our bogey go to waste after all?

The purple patch grew deeper.

The green line edged closer.

The purple patch brightened up a notch before a hatch opened in its centre. The killer jelly was orientated into position.

I could not take it anymore. I wished to be out there and help push that bogey stream so that it reached its target quicker, for at present it was mimicking the race track records held by the average garden snail! Panic-stricken, I dug my hand into my pocket and pulled out the bottle of ground black pepper and sprinkled the remaining grains into the air and I ate it, I ate the air!

MAZZY!?” Elsie screamed. Everyone turned to me, open-eyed and grabbed me by the elbow. My eyes flickered rapidly and I began to suck the air through my mouth, haphazardly, while my nose plunged into the infernal itch I had ever encountered.

Sneeze, Mazzy, SNEEZE!” They were all actively provoking me to let the goods out of the bag!

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

The exceptional propulsion of the sneeze pushed me back against the wall and the entire ship accelerated forward and as it did the green bogey line in space was thrust magnificently onward before splattering against their ship. In moments the core electronics of the enemy vessel endured a massive energy failure before a cawing shriek of metal resounded, or so we thought, as in space it is common lore that sounds cannot travel through it. Sparks fizzed and small lightning bolts jabbed around the vessel like daggers controlled by invisible hands. I wanted to see what other contortions they would let us the pleasure of witnessing, however, it appeared that the cumulative bogey collections of prime Rebel Alliance fighters was too much bogey for one day and they must have chickened out, for they had vanished, shooting out of range thanks presumably to that little hyperdrive button. It was a most uncouth and vulgar and humiliating way to lose out on an interstellar arm wrestle! Squawk, squawk!

We fell on one another in relief! Laughing at our amazing victory, I acknowledged we had survived the lethality of what could have been our last battle and thanked my crew members from the heart.

Mazzy’s Rebel Alliance Crew, Recipe For Bogey Mischief Stew!

“… We fell on one another in relief! Laughing at our amazing victory…”

We need to celebrate and give our noses a well-earned break!” Elsie always came up with the most majestic ideas!

I cleared my throat and my eyes playfully hopped from face to face as I slowly made out the words, “Mos Eisley Cantina!

YES!

I sat on the captain’s seat and in my so-solid British accent instructed, “Set course for Mos Eisley and make it at the double!

Mazzy’s Rebel Alliance Crew, Recipe For Bogey Mischief Stew!

Set course for Mos Eisley and make it at the double!

When we arrived at Mos Eisely Cantina, bustling from wall to wall with Friday night revellers from all corners of the galaxy, we scooted into the ladies room first and with bog roll wiped away any last traces of nasal gunge and hid away our Rebel Alliance badges before enthusiastically queuing up at the bar. Cool jazz strummed through the cosy interior like honeysuckle dripping of music and we were ready to make a night of it!

What happened next was infinitely more dastardly than fighting any number of nasty anonymous alien enemies in the depths of uncharted space. My lips were unfathomably parched. Yes, I desired a cup of tea! But, oh my goodness, but! Had I known that the supreme beverage of tea was not served at the bar after 5pm I would have most definitely put a bogey-drenched sock in the mouths of those alien baddies a little sooner! Giggle, giggle! ♥♥♥ 

 

Photography, Poem & Words: © Masufa Khatun |Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester | UK 2016                

Re-Visioning The Multiverse Hypothesis Chapter Four: When Shakespeare Met Yoda!

If You thought that Alice was all alone in this strange garden then You would be forgiven for making this mistake, for up until now she never once felt the presence of another or suspect that watchful eyes were in shadow of her every movement. All around her were faces swaying in the light breeze, beautiful and mute, but these belonged to flowers and the waxy leaves of trees, and nothing else, at least not of any creature that could walk.

Side-stepping away from the luscious green shrubbery and feeling revived by the air in which steeped wondrous elements, she walked over to the paved area in the middle where she made herself comfortable by sitting down on an old wooden bench. Just as she shifted her legs to ensure that she found a comfy position to stay in for a while, a little girl leapt in front of her, whose skin shone as white as pearl and whose locks were reminiscent of oiled coils of gold. She was younger than Alice and quite the sprightly creature, and in her hand she held proudly what appeared to be some sort of futuristic staff with a stunning blue beam of light extending out from one end which she had decisively thrust into the paved stone.

Re-Visioning The Multiverse Hypothesis Chapter Four: When Shakespeare Met Yoda!

… She was younger than Alice and quite the sprightly creature, and in her hand she held proudly what appeared to be some sort of futuristic staff with a stunning blue beam of light extending out from one end which she had decisively thrust into the paved stone…

Oh my, who are you?” exclaimed Alice. By now she had shot up from her seat and had stepped back in nervous apprehension. She finally had learnt that this garden was not completely identical to hers, for how does one go about accounting for this strange girl whom she had never ever met back in her own world?

The little girl let out a giggle and then composed herself when she realised that Alice did not find any of her antics all that funny. “Sorry to have scared you! I am Alice!” The girl bowed her head down with a degree of eloquence worthy for any royal court.

Excuse me? But that is my name! I am Alice!” Alice concluded that the little girl was harmless, and walked round the bench again and sat down, reasoning in her mind that now would be a good time to let her legs rest so that her brain could think!

Re-Visioning The Multiverse Hypothesis Chapter Four: When Shakespeare Met Yoda!

“Excuse me? But that is my name! I am Alice!” Alice concluded that the little girl was harmless, and walked round the bench again and sat down, reasoning in her mind that now would be a good time to let her legs rest so that her brain could think!

 

Little Alice chuckled again and came closer. She was desperate to lift the fog of confusion off from the eyes of Big Alice. She sized up the tall girl with the red jumper and then said, “So this is how I look like in your world…”, she seemed to be impressed by what she saw and then continued, “ I like your red top! My mum only lets me wear white tops because they don’t get as dirty and nor as quickly as the other colours do.” Big Alice was intolerably perplexed by the logic, but then again this world had rules of its own. What she could not ignore no matter how much she tried was the object that little Alice held firmly in her hands and she surmised that whatever was its purpose that the little girl had mastered it well because of the way it melded into her.

May I ask you what is that?” Big Alice pointed to the object and it was not only her ears, but she fixed her gaze as well onto the little girl, to penetrate her concentration into every inch of the answer that she hoped would be given to her.

Oh, that! Don’t you have these in your world?” Little Alice was very amused, she had always assumed that everyone, everywhere, had one of these by their sides!

No. We don’t.” Big Alice felt that somehow she had been left out of something great even though she had not yet learnt of the nature of the object.

In that case…”, and she reached into her pocket and pulled out an intriguing book to show Big Alice, “… you probably have never heard of this!

Big Alice stepped closer still and, with uncertain forwardness, extended her hand out to take the book. The little girl smiled and obliged quite happily.

Big Alice read the title, “William Shakespeare’s The Empire Striketh Back!” Nearly in danger of losing her footing, she was overcome with a flabbergasted expression, astonished by the revelation that the famous bard had collaborated with his imagination to such an astronomical degree that he had combined his tales of love and comedy and tragedy with the odysseys of the stars! “Gosh, when did Shakespeare write this?! And who is this green goblin with big pointy ears?

So… you don’t know anything about these things from where you come from?” The little girl looked concerned.

Obviously not…” Big Alice was slightly dismayed, it was as if she had been let down by some unseen entity. Why had she not known that her favourite writer in the world was also a passionate traveller of the stars! What a shame that her world was oblivious to this side of Shakespeare.

Without any warning, the little girl peered over big Alice so that her gaze was trained towards the western horizon. “It’s that time again! Time to put the sunglasses on!

Why? It’s only evening and the sun is not that bright at this time of the day!

But it hurts our eyes when we look at the suns-set…” And she balanced her black shades over her eyes before taking the book back into her hands. “It was very nice to meet you, especially as your name is the same as my name!” She put out her hand and cheerfully I shook it although I was still reeling from the restless oddity of this world.

Re-Visioning The Multiverse Hypothesis Chapter Four: When Shakespeare Met Yoda!

“But it hurts our eyes when we look at the suns-set…” And she balanced her black shades over her eyes before taking the book back into her hands.

I enjoyed meeting you, too..

I will tell mum all about you! I hope you’ll stop by longer next time but now I must go otherwise my tea will get cold!” She hopped and skipped away, the mysterious object in one hand and her engrossing tome in the other, and all the while a playful hum and a whistle could be heard from her. Big Alice gave a confusing smile as the little girl vanished round a corner of berried bushes.

Ah, once again we could now speak of Alice as Alice, without the differentiating adjective preceding it! And as this Alice stood there she was struck down by a great mystery, a phrase that the girl used.

Suns-set’.

It was plural. Surely it was an innocent slip of the tongue caused by the immaturity of a young mind?!

Alice shrugged her shoulders and turned around to face the vastness of the western horizon. In the serene silence embalmed within the arc of an indigo sky, she saw them, two ores of giant marmalade.

She stood still. So very still. How was it possible?!

She wished to cry and smile and laugh at the same time, but most importantly, she wished her grandma could have been there to see what she saw. She chose to smile in the end, it stretched across her face with the pleasant slowness of melting wax, and oh how it gladdened her deeply that could watch those two suns, freely, with her own two eyes…  ♥♥♥ 

 

Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories |My Garden | Winchester | UK 2016

Bank Holiday Mega Fun: Find A Famous Five!

It is absolutely imperative that if You wish to make this a legendary space odyssey then ensure that You administer the most flawless dosage of Your Jedi mind tricks to secure the co-operation of five of the most competent navigators in Your catchment area! A solid bit of stellar teamwork in the dough mix of Your story will help to consolidate its epic timbre. If You are unconvinced by the arguments of my case then do cast Your minds back and remember that our dear Han would not have gone far without the co-operation of his incomprehensible grunting carpet, Mr Wookie, who was a proper dab hand at chucking the right clunky spanners to his partner, and was also an impromptu tactile counsellor since the soft wall of his brown locks were always a formidable cushion for those feeling a little out of their depth! Now that is an ace partnership in action!

Last night I headed out to town with five of my closest mates whose beautiful and lively visages belie their true awesomeness, a hidden repository of talents belonging to that genre of science fiction – except this is not fiction! A Famous Five with more fierce bang in their engines than all the London fireworks put together and that have ever been set off to usher in the new year, each one of these ladies is a prestigious space cadet proudly in alliance with the Rebel Fleet! And we, buzzing with the delicious suspense of a new adventure, chose to meet and confer round a table inside one of our primary rebel bases here in Winchester which coincidentally, of course, is a public building that likes to moonlight itself as a venue known for its authentic Italian cuisine! Giggle, giggle!

If You have a knack for observant analysis, Your eyes will hone in on with immediate effect on Elsie’s hand supporting her other arm. To the untrained mind it appears so ordinary that You wish You could just pick up the laptop and dunk it in the fish bowl – sorry Banku! – however I might be able to desist You from going bonkers at this stage! Do not think that rest is what these fighters find relief in after a boring Monday morning lecture at the local University. There is serious work to be done, and that is why I have them often practising their overarm slings, tossing and pitching orange spheres whilst simultaneously steering an original Rebel Alliance Starfighter vessel through Winchester’s notorious one-way system. No, I am not making any of this up! Crikey, Your dullard scepticism should be classed as an illegal substance! Gigggggle!!!

Solidarity among Your mates is essential to achieving the ultimate Victory among the stars! Ouch, blimin’ betel nuts – oh, wait a mo, hellllllo, what do we have here…?

May the Force be with You!
Rebel Leader 15, Mazzy ♥♥♥

Bank Holiday Mega Fun: Find Five Of The Finest Compactable Space Cadets!

“… Solidarity among Your mates is essential to achieving the ultimate Victory among the stars…”

 

Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester | UK 2016

 

Bank Holiday Mega Fun: May The First!

My dearest and most scrumdidlyumptious Reader, if You are as gripped by fanatical lunacy as I am for our joint and imminent departure for the attendance of the extravagant annual interstellar celebrations held at the pro-pirate venue of Mos Eisley Cantina on Tatooine, then You have entered the right docking bay! Hurrah!

It gives me indescribable pleasure to tell You that my midget guru by the name of Yoda has entrusted me with a job with the calm confidence that I would respond to it with extreme keenness! As always, he is right! As I am the wackiest teacher in my department, known to wear odd sneakers and blazing jumpers just to make my students crack up with laughter, and not to mention of my no holds barred taste for theatrics, Yoda told me in the playground that I ought to apply my humble credentials to a more adventuresome use! He has asked me to counsel You on what to take in Your suitcase for the long and bumpy journey ahead – and for those of You with modified hyperdrives, be warned in Your assumption that the course You set will be achieved with straightforward ease. Rebel spies inform us that massive betel nut asteroids have appeared out of nowhere and are perilously orbiting the outer rim of the solar system in which Tatooine is located. First indications suggest that bandits of Asian aunties may be responsible for this grotesque vandalism of intergalactic airspace! Cheeky rowdy seniors, indeed!

Without much further ado, let me put on my dotty gardening gloves and trowel through my photographic archives! Ah, yes, this will do just fine! First up in our suggested baggage list is the most reliable form of terrestrial mobility one should have on their persons when tackling those uneven sand dunes of Tatooine, and thus I recommend You to acquire a decent and well-oiled FARMYARD TRACTOR! Oh now, now, do not be put off by its dinosaur proportions, I am sure You will solve this, ahem ahem, slight issue of how to fit it into Your suitcase! If there is a symptomatic wailing of despair from Your throat it is all down to the fact that Your mind is too pernickety! Honestly, throwing up a fuss over a trivial a matter as that of size incompatibility would put both Your mumsy and the pet goldfish to shame!  How difficult can it be to squash those four tyres into your hand luggage?! Now, enough of that sniffling! Oh my lord, is that a green bogey or Jabba’s bottom that just dripped down from Your nose?!

May the Force be with You!
Red Leader 15, Mazzy ♥♥♥

 

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 7: On The Matter Of Meeting Majnun’s Deer!

“… the most reliable form of terrestrial mobility one should have on their persons when tackling those uneven sand dunes of Tatooine, and thus I recommend You to acquire a decent and well-oiled FARMYARD TRACTOR…

 

Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester | UK 2016

Jump(er) To Hyperspace: A Vortex Of Light!

Now, I do have a few specks of pragmatic dust mites in my brain to be able to graciously and humbly accept that in my lifetime it would be a megalithic miracle for the opportunity for space travel to come my way, however, the goblins of the realistic world have yet to forge a restraining order on my imaginative faculties, this nifty gift is highly advanced  of mine and has taken me as far as the other side of the Universe! An armchair, a pen and paper and soon enough I can transform myself into a pirate pilot manoeuvring impossible high-speed slants and dashes and dodges in deepest space whilst giving the itchy laser-blasting TIE fighters of the ever snooty Imperial authorities a proper run for their money! Ha ha!

Since England is in the grip of a ferocious storm at the moment and I have some time to spare today, while my baby sister is listening to old-school vinyl music and painting away, I am poring over old star charts, fiddling with my planisphere and learning more about the fireflies of constellations of the northern hemisphere, especially paying acute attention to the myths and legends that have delightfully added a mystical strata to otherwise dry scientific fact. The skies over England are variable in cloud cover at night so stargazing is a bit of a tricky proposition at the moment, however, I am noting down potential dates for clearer expeditions of the heavens using my trusty telescope and am particularly drawn to identifying, this time, the spectacular static dance sprays of a few favourite nebulas and perhaps even the scoot through the Bootes (The Herdsman) constellation that is being voyaged through by Comet Catalina as we speak! Ahem, ahem, I do apologise for the lavish bubbles of geeky enthusiasm in my words, it is known to subvert non-initiates of the Astronomical world to lose their own co-ordinates! I do apologise sincerely! Giggle, giggle!

Before I make a dash back to the study room I should like to leave You with a cheeky photograph that I took this morning in my garden – the site of the majority of my interstellar spy activities – wherein You shall see yet another telescope in my collection, kindly gifted to me by my adorable star fighter brother, Sambo, and leaning on it is the second Christmas present I received from my film buff brother, Ab, who is a rather clever chap, for he always knows how to appease my tomboy inclinations! Lipstick and shoes and bags do it for some women. My boys know that is not how I tick!

What makes me tick? What is my cup of tea, so to speak? 

A Haynes operational manual detailing the anatomy of the most famous Modified YT-1300 Corellian Freighter, The Millennium Falcon, whose metallic flower-head main sensor antenna fizzles my eyes with enough carbonated joy that if I could I would stand up on the world’s stage and announce to everyone that those cruddy Smartphones may come installed with the capacity to send signals but they have not a clue in the world how to do it in a style that defies time and space with whizpopping panache!

Seconds away from signing out from the dismal 2D universe of the virtual plane, but turning around just before I casually push the salon doors open in the cramped Mos Eisely Cantina, I ask thee, Dear You, are You ready to jump(er) to hyperspace with me…?  ♥♥♥


LINK: 
http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/ninohe-fireflies/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fb20151230photo-pod&utm_campaign=Content&sf17752017=1

 

Jump(er) To Hyperspace: A Vortext Of Light!

“I ask thee, Dear You, are You ready to jump(er) to hyperspace with me…?”

 

Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester| UK 2015

 

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 18: On The Matter Of A Pair Of Jedi Fighters Chilling Out!

May shame blight You down like a splattered pancake on that twig and straw pile that You call Your head should You tell me that You have yet to be inundated with the earthly paradise of viewing the latest slice of Star Wars magic on the big screen! I sense Your lack of Faith in the Force most disturbing, and what is this I behold, the pancake beside me is indeed quivering ever so forward, an imminent launch I suspect and one that I foresee heading straight towards You! Thou may redeem Yourself if You take immediate precautionary measures, primarily that of assembling a camping kit and scooting down to your nearest cinema, hoist the tent up and wait until the doors open for the next show! What is that You mumble with pity awkwardness? Ah, it gets cold at night out here? Well, You should have thought about that in the first place? Ahem, ahem! Giggle, giggle – followed by my imitating a highly serious and scrutinising ‘Alec Guinness’ face!

Me and my entire gang scored well today, for after an epic military operation that involved stealth manoeuvres in shops as to avoid catching sight of each other, sizeable amounts of dodging to make a football team drool with uncontrollable lust, and huge exercise of discipline not to proton torpedo customers shoving and pushing in front of my little hobbity frame, the entire crew managed to succeed in completing our Christmas shopping! Hurrah! What did we do next, You ask with investigative eyes as squinty as the snout holes of the harvest mouse!

We hurried to my brother’s cinema to watch the FORCE AWAKENS of course!

Yes, I cannot get enough of this film and shall be watching it again next week with another team of sci-fi salivating bandits! Oh do quit blurting out sighs of pathetic boredom, when the Force has been as strong in me since I first laid my eyes and heart on Luke Skywalker stood alone on the sand wastelands of Tatooine, yearningly looking out over the horizon embellished by the mighty Light of a binary sunset, I knew that was it! The year was 1983, I believe, and while cinematic history was permanently and refreshingly altered forever, something feisty blossomed inside my Visionary faculties, an unwavering belief in Destiny that will be my loyal companion till the end chapters of this lifetime.

A brief history, if I may! Mr Lucas went on to make a new trilogy of Star Wars films – Episode 1 -3 beginning in the late nineties and, without the intrusion of any sympathetic euphemisms because it does not warrant it so, these films were absolutely RUBBISH! Die-hard fans like myself were let down in more ways than one, the films were pretentious and horridly cheesy and not to mention the pimped-up purple lightsaber that Mr Jackson acquired simply by clicking his fingers with the justification that a ‘black brother’ deserved this so-called slick colour flipped Lucas over the Dark Side and he obeyed to the whims of an actor who blatantly had no idea what he had gone and done! What a load of codswallop, as we British like to say!

THANK GOODNESS, I can say with euphoric fortitude that the FORCE AWAKENS, EPISODE 7 is one of the most spectacular acts of filmic reparation ever to roll, for fans will be delighted by it in every way conceivable! It is a modern classic, a fitting homage to the original three films to the extent that at times I felt like shedding a tear of joy to see just how much it meant to Mr J.J. to express directorial salutations to the legend that had preceded it. I was also awestruck and relieved to see that pretty much the entire cast list was made up of British actors who, in general, tend to come from a training lineage that arms them to bring method, thoughtfulness, subtlety and quiet charisma to any role to which they are assigned. CGI has been kept to a minimum, thank the Lords! Old fashion puppetry, the sense of texture and wide-angle panoramas of scenes filled with compelling quietude as opposed to having every frame filled with raucous pandemonium creates a theatrical dimension worthy of high acclaim. Indeed, some scenes deserved to be turned into wall art! I kid You not, dear Reader!

If You have yet to harness the nerdy affection of my words then perhaps I could put a cherry on top of this cake and submit to You a series of photographs which I took of one of my most sprightly crew members, Miss Jenny Woodsprite! The little munchkin is the daughter of my good friend Samka, however I get along with Jenny as if I were more her age than her mother’s! A tomboy at heart, a no-frills girl who is magnetised towards theatre and action and adventure, Jenny also shares an uncanny resemblance to Daisy Ridley, the lead female protagonist in the FORCE AWAKENS! In the galaxy of floating lights suspended in the giant Christmas tree propped up in the middle of our shopping centre, Jenny could have been mistaken for the Jedi girl of the film, a member of the Resistance taking a respite from her galactic odysseys to admire the twinkling of stars whose gaps shan’t require quick-step manoeuvring of the Millennium Falcon from hot-on-the-heels TIE Fighters! I hung out with Jenny whilst Samka saw to other business and turned the opportunity into a golden one, an artful and shrewd photographic slice of sugary fun that gives a smiling thumbs up to the FORCE as we made the most out of our chill out session, and while You are it, do click on the link to read about Daisy Ridley’s preferred method of chilling out – and in case I have never told You, I love baking cakes, too… ♥♥♥

LINK: http://www.marieclaire.com/celebrity/news/a17625/daisy-ridley-fun-facts/

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 18: On The Matter Of A Jedi Fighter Chilling Out By Baking Cakes!

“… A tomboy at heart, a no-frills girl who is magnetised towards theatre and action and adventure, Jenny also shares an uncanny resemblance to Daisy Ridley, the lead female protagonist in the FORCE AWAKENS…”

 

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 18: On The Matter Of A Jedi Fighter Chilling Out By Baking Cakes!

“… In the galaxy of floating lights suspended in the giant Christmas tree propped up in the middle of our shopping centre, Jenny could have been mistaken for the Jedi girl of the film…”

 

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 18: On The Matter Of A Jedi Fighter Chilling Out By Baking Cakes!

“… taking a respite from her galactic odysseys to admire the twinkling of stars whose gaps shan’t require quick-step manoeuvring of the Millennium Falcon from hot-on-the-heels TIE Fighters…”

Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester| UK 2015

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 13: On The Matter Of Counting Down To ‘The Force Awakens’ And The Curious Case Of My Honourable Bald-Scalped Friend, Sir Thomas!

Only the last piddling dregs of hours remain before the intergalactic touchdown of ‘The Force Awakens’ is unlocked and unleashed into UK cinemas, and even here, in the midget-proportioned abode of Winchester, a fantastical and hugely anticipated midnight screening has been organised by my brother to which we are at this very moment pacing the room with electrical sizzles tingling on the ends of our fingers and toes! This is going to be one very, berry, merry epic night and that is why I scooted over to the laptop to post this slice of cheekiness at an earlier time, engineered thanks to my ALLIANCE with Destiny and that I wish to share with You before I take to the cinematic skies of a galaxy far, far away!

Canons – sorry – cannons based on advanced blaster laser technology, Light-sabers that lovingly express a firm nod of affection to Arthurian combat, characters that hail from distant worlds but whose odysseys we can all relate to and the all-pervasive and sacred sense of Destiny and the Force coursing through the narrative like a master of prescient knowledge, the only ingredient arguably  missing from this fantastical canvas of sci-film mythology is, of course, the speak of tea – or coffee for those plagued with a confused constitution! Giggle, giggle!

It was not long ago that a certain unmet “honourable friend” of mine here on WordPress had begun a rather dramatic and colourful conversational thread with me that had been stimulated as a result of his response to a news piece that concerned a historical war scene: a tense and hair-raising battle out at sea between the British and the Spanish hundreds of years ago. Canon – sorry – cannon fire went ballistic and the Spanish ship had sunk along with its hoard of treasures, and it was the re-discovery of this loot in the submerged remains of the wreckage that prompted international reportage. In the conversational stream that followed between myself and my “honourable friend”, he was most kind enough to lay down a segment of his family history, stating that his lineage had once seen a certain ‘Sir Thomas’ – no, not ‘Thomas The Tank Engine’, that is another steamy story, remember? – and that this chap had fled from the British and the House of Lords because the situation had turned insufferably ‘hot’, heading to a galaxy far far away, in other words, he hopped over that little pond called the Atlantic to set up a new life in the Americas.

Where am I going with this convoluted discussion?

It has made HEAD-LINE NEWS today in British politics, on a day that is but a few hours away from the dramatization of a maritime scuffle of cannons and artifice taken to whole new intergalactic level, that it follows that here in the HOUSE OF LORDS where everyone is addressed as an “honourable friend”, the Prime Minister went head-to-head with a sheepish opponent, a scene that could have easily outwit the best SOAPS ON TELLY!

BUT, that is NOT what has me transfixed!

What has me in a loopy fit of joy and raucous giggles is that among all this hullaballoo, a NUTMEG-TINTED and beautifully BALD-SCALPED chap has his face twice honed in and whose smooth head is of the perfect curvature and surface sheen to fry an egg IF the weather was hot enough here in Britain and, yet, alas, we haven’t the foggiest idea as to who and why he receives this strange dosage of attention?!

I know!

The flighty spirit of Sir Thomas consented to a cameo, lavishing us with a homecoming to his roots and with nutmeg tan in tow to instil a NEW HOPE that the weather is not always so bad on the other side of the pond!

Are You feeling grotesquely discombobulated? I advise an extra strong cup of tea to help settle Your nerves down and if that is no consolation then may I be as audacious enough to submit the following photograph of my “honourable friend” Samka, who has very kindly volunteered to apply a remedial face-lift to the baldy and shiny RED BAUBLE, gently letting them hang on the branches of the CHRISTMAS TREE so as to not let them lose face! Ah, I just pray that she will hold back from squeezing them too hard with the Force of her hands! To come this far and then for things to suddenly go “POP” would be an awful way for You to have Your BUBBLE BURST! Giggle, giggle!

Oh no, wait, on second thoughts, “POP” is an AMERICAN SOUND that translates into “Father”. Could the baldy chap in the House of Lords, our Sir Thomas wannabe, be contemplating defection to the ‘DARK SIDE’?! Yikes!

MARY – sorry – May the Force be with You, my “honourable friend”!
Mazzy xxx

LINK: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/david-cameron-makes-star-wars-joke-during-prime-ministers-questions-a6775401.html

Christmas Month Puzzle Box 13: On The Matter Of Counting Down To ‘The Force Awakens’ And The Curious Case Of My Honourable Bald-Scalped Friend, Sir Thomas!

“Ah, I just pray that she will hold back from squeezing them too hard with the Force of her hands! To come this far and then for things to suddenly go “POP” would be an awful way for You to have Your BUBBLE BURST! Giggle, giggle!”


Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Sparsholt Countryside| Hampshire | UK 2015

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention! EPISODE III

Dear Reader & Mr You in a galaxy far far away

I feel as though I am the blessed custodian of sacred and secret knowledge who is about to, with the fullness of heart and vitality of spirit, unleash the final part of what has been kept safe so that You, too, may benefit from its illuminating effects as it has done so for me. I am, of course, referring to my final Star Wars comic cover that will complete the jolly triptych and seal it with the epic atmospheric strata characteristic of historic cinematic trilogies! Ahem, ahem, what were You thinking about?! Giggle, giggle! :)) :)) :))

I do hope this unprecedented creative project that had started out on an impulse brought oodles of happiness to You as it did for me in the making of it. I am quite a busy old lady but, with the determined enterprise of a true Jedi, if I put my mind to something – especially if it is designed with the motivation to bring joy to others like Yourself – then I shall always find time to transform my Vision into reality. Do not be disheartened by the fact that my physical eyes cannot see You take delight in what I create, I have always relied on my true Eyes to capture the essences You leave behind each and every time You cast Your attentions onto my humble presentations. That in itself is enough to make me want to forever strive to better myself as an Artist authentic to the Voice of her heart…♥

The narrative voice box in this comic cover ends with the teasing cliff-hanger to the tune of “To Be Continued…” I assure You that sometime in the future You will see additional hilariously formatted installments that express my penchant for comic book dabblings! Watch this space attentively!

Oh, before I do disappear to bed I should like to announce – and I rub both my hands rigorously with electrical excitement as I prepare myself to A-MAZ-E You – that Mr J.J. Abrams, director of FORCE AWAKENS, has revealed today on the news that MAZ KANATA, the lady pirate gifted with the special eyes, was always present in the official poster, right under Your noses, but that no one had spotted her, presumably because of her diminutive size overshadowed by the other well-familiar characters. Let me ask You a question, and please answer to Your best of knowledge, has there been a Jedi granny from Winchester with special Eyes who has ever so earnestly been prattling on about Admiral Telescopes for the last week or so?! Now You know why! Ahem, ahem, stop looking at me so deeply – blushing is in breach of my Jedi code…  ♥

Though I am short it never stopped me from seeing my favourite Star,
Eternally Your Mazzy xxx

LINK: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/lupita-nyongos-mystery-star-wars-839700

LINK 2: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-3315846/Lupita-Nyong-o-s-Force-Awakens-character-Maz-Kanata-revealed-hiding-poster-along.html

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention!  EPISODE III

“… has there been a Jedi granny from Winchester with special Eyes who has ever so earnestly been prattling on about Admiral Telescopes for the last week or so?! Now You know why! Ahem, ahem, stop looking at me so deeply – blushing is in breach of my Jedi code… “

 

Photography, Comic Design & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Birmingham | Midlands | UK 2015

 

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention! EPISODE II

Dearest Reader & Mr You ♥ 

The pleasure centres of my nerdy brain were so immensely gratified by the creation of my flashy comic book tribute to Star Wars that after returning from my teaching duties tonight I simply could not resist! Yes, my beloved Reader, I adopted a full-steam ahead mentality and gave in to my delectable temptation to rustle up yet another cover, starring my rocket fuel in human form – my nephew Zack – as the star attraction! I know You indulged in a hearty giggle with the first edition so surely a second offering will be indubitably proficient in putting the hugest of stars in Your eyes!

I include some A-MAZ-ING breaking news, just released from over the pond. A few hours ago Entertainment Weekly announced that it will be publishing collector’s edition covers lovingly dedicated to the new film and have included to mention that first glimpses of exclusive photography of some of the primary characters will be contained within. And, if You WATCH the video at the top of their page You will find it a difficult challenge to avert Your eyes away from the background WALL, for it bears the name of my most treasured and brightest star, Sirius. I love to A-MAZ-E You… ♥

Oh, and by the way, when my Eyes had wondered off to that beautiful wall in Birmingham Library, it was unlike the chap in the video since both my feet had shoes on at the time, yet I still request that You do not call him STUPID, it is the way of us geeks to behave in this wibbly-wobbly manner… :)) :)) :))

True Love is the Force by which my WORDS come alive!
Your Mazzy xxx

LINK: http://www.ew.com/article/2015/11/11/star-wars-force-awakens-ew-cover

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention! EPISODE II

“I know You loved the first edition so surely a second offering will be indubitably proficient in putting the hugest of stars in Your eyes…!”

Photography, Comic Design & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Birmingham | Midlands | UK 2015

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention!

Dear Readers & in a galaxy far far away my Mr… ♥ 

Ask anyone in my extended family and they will tell You, with an exhausted shake of the head I hasten to add, that there are two particular individuals who were born with a jumbo-sized and unassailable keen passion for the ways of the Force, the path of the Jedi. Mention STAR WARS and the two in question will follow it up with a spinning motion of the feet proceeded by a rushing round the room in a burst of the most ear-cracking joy that even the remnant radiation left from the mighty Big Bang is made subject to seriously consider shutting down shop! Giggle, giggle!

Who could they be? Oh how daft of You to employ such stupidity on such a sacred a topic!

Zack and I, of course! Pfffshhht!

Little Zack of 8 glorious years is my adorable nephew who lives in Birmingham with my brother, a film buff in his own right. All three of us spent an absolutely cracking afternoon in the biggest comic shop I had ever laid eyes on to the extent that I was madly out of breath by the brute indecisiveness of what to buy, so many vintage comics that I wanted to slurp them all up! Bangles and lipstick and pretty shoes can never match the sheer awesomeness of a good comic, and my bookshelves have ample varieties of them, each a trophy that glitters to my eye with the pounding message that it wants to be read once more!

I wanted to do something a little different to celebrate that super cool memory of scooting around a comic shop with my Jedi Apprentice, Zack and, as is customary of eccentrics, in a flash of strawberry-flavoured lightning the idea came to me – that I could conjure up my own comic cover! That is precisely what I did! I have sent a copy to Zack and his family and I share it with You, too, for I know in my Soul that when You look upon this amusing aspect of my twinkle-toed creative Vision You’ll want to meet me more than ever, after all, how many Asian ladies do You know who, in their spare hour, want to do nothing more than to create their very own science-fiction memorabilia?! Giggle, giggle… :)) :)) :))

Oh, and, it might be wise to view the contents of my comic cover with that fine brass Admiral telescope I sent You previously, otherwise, may I suggest that You seek a suitable zooming-in facility to draw closer to Your eyes my Words… ♥

Always Your Hidden, Loving Polymath
Mazzy xxx

 

The Force Is Strong In My Family: A Comic Convention!

“… Ask anyone in my extended family and they will tell You, with an exhausted shake of the head I hasten to add, that there are two particular individuals who were born with a jumbo-sized and unassailable keen passion for the ways of the Force, the path of the Jedi…”


Photography, Comic Design & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Birmingham | Midlands | UK 2015