I have quite the mind to assert that even the lively chirrups of the blue tits, chaffinches and the unrelenting social bumblebee that is the robin whose trills I can hear so clearly outside my room as I type these words are all indeed comfortably knowledgeable of that fact that today in college each student of mine stood not only with their shoes on, but that I saw mighty avalanches of bright gardens spring up from beneath their toes! ♥
Words could never grasp the cosmic and deep joy that flutters in these veins of mine as I sit back tonight and attempt a sincere, albeit insufficient, contemplation of the amazing achievements demonstrated by each student in the fields of literature, arts and performing arts in the last ten years, and it would constitute a great folly if I were to make it out as if this was the end of an Act and therefore the cue for the curtain call since we have hardly even begun. There is more to the show and I shall pray, as I hope that You will too, that each one of these individuals, who had started out with rickety doubts and a lifetime marred by disparaging words and contorted expectations, have yet more lit-up stages to walk on so that once again they should thoroughly bedazzle the minds and hearts of unsuspecting audiences and uproot with effortless flair those hardened stalagmites of social stigma that still exist here in the so-called liberalised west. I shall do my very best to play my humble role in all this, invisible and backstage, and yet undeniably satisfying. I speak of the role of the Teacher, of course. ♥
Much merriment was the order of the day today in college, and some rather comedic scenes took place at lunchtime that had all of us in firm stitches! Would You be shocked and surprised if I were to confess that I was the little mischief-maker in all this? Perhaps You shall not. You have waded through numerous stories of mine by now that I would imagine that in Your mind You are as fixed in Your summation as a nail is to the wall, that the source of all hilarious anarchy at my college could only ever be the brainchild of Yours truly, this 158cm hobbit with the itchy garden fingers! Giggle, giggle!
Well, what happened? I shall not prolong any more this malice of dithering and press on!
So, I was sat around the table with my delectable students and we were chatting away at the speed of knots about what shenanigans we had chosen to immerse ourselves in the Easter holidays, and there I was munching on a sandwich, one filled with green pesto, mature cheddar cheese and a few small but plump vine tomatoes. So far, so good, is what You may say at this juncture.
What happened next was witnessed by many of my Blue Apple students, including Mr Tommy whom You had the pleasure of viewing in last night’s clip, so should You wish to verify the veracity of this statement someday, now You know exactly who to consult! Giggle, giggle!
I had become so delightfully engrossed in the conversation that I must have lost control of my autonomic system and bit zealously into the sandwich and as soon as the teeth dug into its bready fibres and through to the soft pulp of the red vine tomato, its sweet and squidgy juices shot out at the speed of light and squirted itself in multiple trajectories, hitting me in the right eye whilst the remaining and substantial portion of the red emission aimed itself precisely perpendicular and splattered all over Mr Malster’s face! Famed for consistently playing the role of women in all Blue Apple productions, Mr Malster naturally jerked back in his chair and instantly closed his eyes, and with a high shrill he rang out whilst laughing his head off, “Oh my, you got me! You got me! Your tomato attacked my face! Mazzy, what are you like?!”
The entire lunch area broke out in bursts of noisy chuckles and giggles and I was in a complete and utter hysterical state, laughing so much that I cried streaks of tears and my eyeliner and mascara all came dripping down so that by the end I was no different in appearance from the jolly old farmer’s scarecrow! Giggle, giggle! Thank goodness the Principal was not around, that would have been rather awkward to say the least!
It was inevitable in my mind that to go back in the classroom would not end this saga of uncontrollable roaring peals of laughter, and I was neatly proven correct, for as we sat down and cleared our throats, somehow, and someone, brought to the bench the issue of how best to preserve emergency marmalade sandwiches under red felt hats, as is the habit of a certain bear from darkest Peru, and immediately all eyes fell on Mr Malster and his sticky face gleamed even more glitteringly under the light. I nearly choked at the ingenuity and wit and timeliness of the harmless teasing that was happening before me and our dear Mr Malster lapped it up with fond glee and amusement! He was off his trolley. that’s for sure!
It does not take an intelligent rocket scientist to figure out that we did not get any written work done in the last class of the Spring Term thanks to the ungovernable delinquency of one red vine tomato making an airborne strike at my student’s face without mercy! Oh, and for Your information, none of us were successful in tracing the outer casing, the shell, of the perpetuating tomato bomb, and I suspect that if Sir Arthur Conan Doyle were still alive he would have put a prize on my bit of comical misfortune today, since it would have made the ideal muse on which to base another case whose investigation comprised of chasing a missing artefact! Hey, why are You laughing and calling all this codswallop?! Hush now, for goodness sake! ♥
As I exchanged warm hugs with each of my fabulous students and wished them an Easter holiday filled with fantastical adventures and – how could I possibly omit – that they were to fully partake in the legitimate and elevated consumption of chocolate Easter eggs, I floated like a sunbeam painted of marmalade hues and turning around to face the rewarding scene of a classroom about to shut shop, I swear the air smelt of my garden after the rains, a sweet but grassy petrichor, and I do believe it was laced with the faintest notes of one very naughty red-vine tomato… ♥♥♥
Photography & Words: © Masufa Khatun | Mazzy Khatun Photo Stories | Winchester | UK 2016